Monday, April 20, 2015

small rant

WTF do I have to do to get a full-time job?

  • I have applied to more places than I thought were out there. (>150)
  • I have filled out more applications than any one person should have need to do.
  • I have done my best.
  • I have put myself out there.
  • I present my self well (at least I think I do).
  • I am fantastic at what I do.

Why can I not find a full-time job doing what I want to do?  Forget the stupid "God is waiting to find the exact right place for you" crap!  For all I know, the job I finally get, will be crap and I will hate it.

I have been looking for more than FOUR YEARS!   What more can I do? This is such bull-crap...I don't know what to do and I don't know where to put my frustration.  I feel like a failure and that will eventually translate into my current *part-time* job and may just mess me up for that...Then what will I do?

How long can I keep my chin up and this now-semi positive attitude?  I have no idea. 

What more can I do?  So frustrated...


Saturday, April 11, 2015

April update

It feels like forever since I have posted...well, it has been.  I have been busy with school and this year I am teaching at two community colleges and they did not have overlapping spring breaks, so I have not really had a chance to sit down and do NOTHING like I have in the past.  Starting on Tuesday, I will be back to both colleges again, so back to leaving the house ~6:45 a.m. and not returning until >9:30 p.m.  Sigh.  I think I need to figure something else out for next time, but it all depends on what they can/will offer me.  The two days-a-week are good (I really like having a 4-day weekend, after I recover a bit). 

I have done little to no sewing this semester (with some small exceptions, which I will post in a bit).  This makes me frustrated.

I have had two interviews for two different community colleges - one in PA and one in N. VA.  I am unsure about the N.VA one as it was a "virtual interview" where I had to answer four questions via webcam from a canned (recorded) interviewer. I read this as a college that may be bigger than I want to deal with (classes larger than 40 or so students).  I sent a Thank you email to what seemed to be a blank address (weird address, I was unsure if it was a real person).  I stated within the email that I would follow up on the following Wednesday and so, I did.  I was 100% surprised when I actually got a response from the second email.  The woman said that the committee is still reviewing the tapes and I should hear in a week or so. 

The other was more personal and I think everything went well...I don't think I giggled and laughed inappropriately and I think I was personable and answered their questions well.  I was the first to interview and of course, there were some glitches (one person was ~5-10 minutes late, and they could not see my presentation - the problem was on *their* end [thank god]).  They said that they would complete the interviews as of 4/3/15 and then make recommendations to the Dean(s) and then it would go from there "maybe a week or so" - it has now been a week and I am totally freaking out...

I have come to the realization that I hate interviewing.  It makes me feel really inadequate, stupid, and like a failure when I get the "thanks, but no thanks" letter or email (and sometimes before).  Interviewing is one of the most horrible experiences I have ever had to go through.  Having applied for more than 150 jobs (I am keeping a record in Excel) in the last 3 years, I can tell you it sucks.  It is really hard to keep a positive outlook and want to even try and apply to more positions.

Then...I had two(!) students recommend me to speak to two groups of honors students!  Wow.  I never even thought I was getting through to some of them and now there are two who think I am worth it.  So, on Wednesday, I am going to speak in front of a group of cc students who are being inducted to Phi Theta Kappa and the National Technical Honors Society.  I am going to talk about being a failure...And how that can change when you figure out what you want to do and have the opportunity to make it happen.  We shall see what I can do with my 15 minutes of fame. 

I am also going to submit my name again for the Adjunct of the Year 2015-2016.  Why the hell not? LOL.

OK, so I have done a little sewing this semester.  You might recognize the following from the end of last year:

well, it needed, when Fonda and I went to Greenville, NC, we bought enough black to make a border and some sale fabric for the back (I will post once it is quilted).  And then this happened:

I am very happy with this :)  I think it helps to define the quilt and I just like it.  I will be quilting this one myself and I will post it again, when I am done.

I also made a postcard for my MIL, Cathy Hausser, who really likes sunflowers and is missing her sweetheart, Gorden, who died last summer...We have been sending her sunflowers (and sunflower-like) pictures several times a week and I wanted her to have one more permanent...

it is raw-edged fabric sewn to a base fabric and then the addition of French knots for the center and then quilted onto a piece of very stiff material, made for this kind of application.

That is about all for the sewing...Fonda (and I) have been cleaning up/out the back crafting area - see Fonda's Blog for more amazing clean-up/out descriptions and before & after photos.  I am amazed at what we - mostly Fonda - have done!  This is something I never would have attempted by myself.  From this room, we do plan to move to others - the back bedroom (scary!) and the pile of "naturals and decorating" boxes...then onto the sewing room. 

The upshot of this has been that we have been able to make some cards and we got the chance to make some fobs for a woman in Columbus (through Cathy)...we are doing background stuff that needs to happen before we can get back to 100% crafting :) 

We went through our(!) quilt tops yesterday and found many that had backing material with them (they just need to be sandwiched and quilted - sometimes easier said than done) and several that did not have backings yet.  I am afraid to actually count the number of tops...I will, but not yet.  We took 5 to a local quilt store and found sale(!) fabric for backing them today (spent ~$140) and bought ~15+ yards of good-quality cotton fabric (there were 2.5 yards not on sale - ha, ha - but only 1 yard [2, 1/2 yard pieces] that were not for an in-progress project).  So, we are feeling virtuous and not too guilty.  One of the tops was a store sample Mom had made that was not supposed to be pink, but is...I thought we had completed all the Mom-quilts a few years ago.  Amazing what you can find when you go looking :)...sigh.

OK, enough for today - enough of an update for now, for all involved, I hope.  Peace

the fish girl

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Leland, North Carolina, United States