also for this

i am happy to say that we survived another thanksgiving. it has now been four thanksgivings without Mom. on the first we were traveling home from her death...don't remember much of that, except there was no place to stop to eat dinner, not even mcdonalds! finally found a place in wva - a gas station that had opened it's "grill" to serve people on the road...it was a lucky find, i guess. you can find things open on christmas, why not thanksgiving? that was the first time i realized that i couldn't call Mom and tell her we got home safely and no deer found us...that made me cry (it still does). saw this comic today and it made me think of Mom - this is from the comic "speed bump":



anyways...the next year we went to a friend's house with her parents and our niece...hard. last year was odd, but we got honey-baked ham and turkey and had dinner at home...better. this year, no one could understand why we were not having the big to-do. i spent some of yesterday writing a piece of my dissertation and we had honeybaked ham and turkey sandwiches...maybe tonight i will make mashed potatoes and get f to make the pumpkin pie she offered...we even bought "koohwooo" you know, whipped cream in the can that the cats like (webster and sera).

thanks giving is just not the same...maybe in another few years...i want to make a tradition like Mom had in the last few years: invite all the "orphans" over to eat with us, we had a friend of mind from Korea one year for his first family thanksgiving, he had gone with another Korean friend the previous year to a community thanksgiving, but i think he enjoyed our more because it was more family, he brought this beautiful christmas cactus...it has been happy and still growing...started blooming this year a few days before the anniversary of Mom's death...i love it. we had also had other friends over for dinner that had no other place to go and so came to Mom's house to eat and be part of the family. i want that to be part of her legacy...to invite those who don't have other options, for whatever reason, to be part of our family, even if it is only for a day.

maybe that will begin next year, but until then...thanksgiving is sad for me...i think it may always have a hint of sadness, but also joy in sharing what was started with Mom.

Peace